I’ve had many problems in my life, everyday that goes by I remember how i used to be very happy, still I’m happy that I’m no longer sad like before 5 years or more.

Today a young teenager have passed away and its making me feel numb, he’s as old as me and i know people who knew him, he haven’t die because of being reckless but he just died from a heart attack.

This subject makes me feel heartless, I see people everywhere being so sad and saying that life is not worth it.

It kills me that from this I suppose to feel the same, I should feel that all my problems and all my feelings aren’t worth it because of this tragedy, but all I’m feeling is life just paused, and if I looked everywhere I see that I’m prepared to die, I’m praying daily, I haven’t meant to harm anyone in my life, I behave well with everyone, I made my family proud of me and I haven’t misbehave with them.

I can’t feel sad anymore of these things that I’ve been sad of before, but I still don’t feel happy at all and I don’t know weather if I’ll have my happiness back or not, the things that I’ve been sad of are still problems in my life and they are still affecting me, and I still want to get rid of them.

I feel lost and insecure, i know that i have a good life but how can I feel it if a death of a teenager who’s as old as me didn’t change that?..